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[Unicorn] Leafy Greene {FINAL}

LeafyGreene

By LeafyGreene
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LeafyGreene Blank Flank

LeafyGreene

Posted
Posted (edited)

I sure hope I have this right...



Roleplay Type: FiM/Show “Mane” Equestria Universe



Name: Leafy Greene



Sex: Male



Age: Stallion



Species: Unicorn



Coat Color: Off-white, with light tan muzzle



Mane/Tail/Markings Color & Style: Forest Green. Mane somewhat short, but tail fairly full and long.



Eye Color: Emerald Green



Cutie Mark: Oak Leaf



Physique: Leafy is a fairly strong stallion, trim and well-muscled from his work in the Forests. He is only slightly ‘buff’.



Origin: Leafy’s family is somewhat nomadic, as they work an area of forest for the lumber, carefully harvesting trees in such a manner as to minimize damage to the surrounding trees. They generally work the Whitetail Wood south of Canterlot, but have been known to travel well into the Badlands of the North West.



Occupation: Leafy works as a forester and tree-shaper, using both skill and magic inherent to his family line. His work entails helping to harvest lumber for construction, as well as the specialized skill of shaping trees into domiciles and useful structures, such as Twilight Sparkle’s Library.



Motivation: 'Leafy found himself heading into the cities, such as many a pony before him, in an attempt to determine for himself his place in life, not certain he wanted to continue in his family’s line of work of harvesting trees for lumber. However, his talent showed itself as he was helping a gardener at one estate to trim trees, his magic manifesting to help repair and regrow broken tree limbs after a storm caused damage.



Likes: Leafy delights in adding his own ‘personal’ touch to any tree he shapes into a domicile, usually in the form of decorative loops and swirls in the wood around window and door openings. He also tends to make use of puns, as in when once asked by a Canterlot Noble if he could explain what he did, he replied, “I wood…”



Dislikes: None



Character Summary: Leafy was foaled into an extended family of Lumberponies, whose occupation was to harvest trees for lumber. Growing up, he felt that cutting down trees and sawing it into lumber was not what he wanted to do, and set off to visit the bigger cities to ‘find himself’. Working odd jobs as he wandered, his magical talent manifested as he assisted a gardener at one estate to trim trees damaged by a storm. He found that by concentrating, he could cause woody plants and vines to grow and repair themselves at a substantially faster than normal rate while shaping themselves to his directions. Over time, his skill with the magic has improved to the point where he can now cause trees to enlarge, hollow themselves and grow openings that can be fitted with windows and doors, forming large popular structures, like some seen in Canterlot and Ponyville.. He has since rejoined his extended family, helping to enlarge their business by offering his talents to make imposing tree-structures. He will occasionally take off to explore Equestria, and try to find opportunities for his family to prosper, or to use his ability to help ponies that can make use of what he offers.

Normally quiet and reserved, Leafy tends to calmness, though he will show fits of temper if a shaping by magic becomes obstinate and ‘fights’ against his design due to stresses and grain. His preferred tree material to shape is Oak, as he seems to have an affinity for that particular tree, but is capable of shaping almost any plant with a woody structure. He has attempted to force Zap Apples to bloom and fruit out of season, but found that when he did so, the few fruit that appeared tended to be tasteless and malformed -- perhaps even toxic, as eating his attempts made him quite ill.

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Edited by LeafyGreene
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SunsetSombra Wonderbolt

SunsetSombra

Posted
Posted (edited)

Hey there, I like the application so far, only there's a couple of things that sorta stick out at me about what it contains.

There's some references you're using that I feel are more just for the sake of having show references rather thanactually being meaningful contributions to the application itself, which I feel is a disservice to how good the rest of the application is - I feel they could, therefore, be reworded in a way that could represent the same things without tripping up the application itself and maintains a stronger sense of a unique identity all on it's own.

I shall demonstrate how I personally might reword them myself if this was something I was doing.

1:

Much like Applejack, Leafy tried the big cities as a younger pony, not certain he wanted to continue in his family’s line of work

Potential rewrite: 'He found himself heading into the cities, such as many a pony before him, in an attempt to determine for himself his place in life.'

2:

forming large structures much like Twilight Sparkle’s Library home

Potential rewrite: 'He has experiences of developing large popular structures, like some seen in canterlot and ponyville.'

These are just how I would rewrite these sentances to a less 'reference' centric style - I'm sure you can probably think of better though.

As for the last paragraph, referencing to the Zap Apples...I feel those are far too 'apple family' centric considering the episode was exceedingly strict on not just how they were harvested, but the time and rate they grew. Granny Smith is attributed to having discovered the method, and I feel like as they are, the zap apples are just TOO focused around an already unique set of circumstances for another pony to just replicate and also harvest EARLIER than we were told possible. In this case, I think it better off removed, as I feel there's really no essential reason for it to be there..

Other than these few niggles, I think this application could do well in the mane RP!

Edited by Robikku Pegasus
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LeafyGreene Blank Flank

LeafyGreene

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Hey there, I like the application so far, only there's a couple of things that sorta stick out at me about what it contains.

There's some references you're using that I feel are more just for the sake of having show references rather thanactually being meaningful contributions to the application itself, which I feel is a disservice to how good the rest of the application is - I feel they could, therefore, be reworded in a way that could represent the same things without tripping up the application itself and maintains a stronger sense of a unique identity all on it's own.

I shall demonstrate how I personally might reword them myself if this was something I was doing.

1:

Potential rewrite: 'He found himself heading into the cities, such as many a pony before him, in an attempt to determine for himself his place in life.'

2:

Potential rewrite: 'He has experiences of developing large popular structures, like some seen in canterlot and ponyville.'

These are just how I would rewrite these sentances to a less 'reference' centric style - I'm sure you can probably think of better though.

As for the last paragraph, referencing to the Zap Apples...I feel those are far too 'apple family' centric considering the episode was exceedingly strict on not just how they were harvested, but the time and rate they grew. Granny Smith is attributed to having discovered the method, and I feel like as they are, the zap apples are just TOO focused around an already unique set of circumstances for another pony to just replicate and also harvest EARLIER than we were told possible. In this case, I think it better off removed, as I feel there's really no essential reason for it to be there..

Other than these few niggles, I think this application could do well in the mane RP!

Thank you for the suggestions. I was thinking the references were a form of shortcut to more easily explain what he did by example, rather than explanation. However, I fully agree the Zap-Apple bit is likely a bit overboard. I'll be making the recommended changes after I post this...and reworking the Zap Apples to better fit with canon.

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