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That was rather lovely. The only bad I really found is some I's that need to be capital, or some accidental spaces, simple typos. I almost always make them, the annoyance of messing up one simple key always gets me. Some sentences could be revised, but it doesn't hinder the reading experience. The plot is pretty grand, I rather like it. You used a very nice vocabulary, which added to the humor and description. I hope to see some more :) All in all, it was great.

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Thanks for that Normandy.

But it was really hard for me starting out, I tried to go for deviant art but when I told other bronies about my ideas they blocked me, and I wouldn't call that helping of any sort.

And when I tried submitting stuff to equestria daily, they shot it down and didn't even send me a reply as to why, which just depressed me even more, and when I tried to get something else proof read here at canterlot, the person who proofed read it was so mean about it, seriously he didn't even make an effort to find a single good thing.

Thanks for the sentiment Normandy but people haven't exactly been kind to me when it comes to my writing :-(

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Thanks for that Normandy.

But it was really hard for me starting out, I tried to go for deviant art but when I told other bronies about my ideas they blocked me, and I wouldn't call that helping of any sort.

And when I tried submitting stuff to equestria daily, they shot it down and didn't even send me a reply as to why, which just depressed me even more, and when I tried to get something else proof read here at canterlot, the person who proofed read it was so mean about it, seriously he didn't even make an effort to find a single good thing.

Thanks for the sentiment Normandy but people haven't exactly been kind to me when it comes to my writing :-(

OHHHHH...I think I feel...angry.....

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Thanks for reading that Nasty, you didn't need to but you did it anyway and for that, I really thank you.

I actually started on the second chapter back before I got really demotivated, and I haven't finished it because I figured no one would care if I finished or not, which I guess is why I got myself like this to begin with.

I just felt like my work was being ignored, and then I doubted myself and well here I am now :-(

I'm really sorry guys, this really isn't the place where I should be discussing this, I really should just stop now.

Edit: Thanks Normandy and Sulvuss but it's just hard pushing past those first few rejections when I don't have much experience.

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Noedig, Conor. Its getting late here. I'll PM both your reviews tomorrow, but I have a meeting with my father for breakfeast. Sorry, I wanted to get them done tonight but I was handling another review as well.

That's okay, I hope you'll have a delicious breakfast with your dad! ;)

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No problem. I feel the same way because I posted my story here on the Writing Discussion and got a review from someone. It appears as though I've received a lovely number of views, but, no reviews. So, when's the next chapter?

I must depart now, so PM me once you're finished. I love being politely pushy.

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