Pegasus Crimson Thunder

[the_hittite]

[ Pony Related Character ]

Name: Crimson Thunder (real name Nimble Bolt)

Gender: Male

Age: Colt

Species: Pegasus

Pelt Color: light brown

Mane/Tail Color & Style: spiky, bright red/orange

Eye Color: green

Cutie Mark: A bright red lightning bolt and a grey storm cloud (He tries to keep it covered so as not to give away his 'secret identity'.)

Physique: Average

Residence: Ponyville

Occupation: Student / Masked Vigilante

Motivation: Truth, Justice, and the Equestrian Way.

Likes: Protecting the innocent, over-dramatic monologues, comic books

Dislikes: Homework, 'injustice,' bullies, being treated like a foal, bed time

Character Summary: Nimble suffers from a bad case of Chronic Hero Syndrome brought on by his other favorite past-time: comic books. He's always adored super heroes and wanted to be one himself. Unfortunately, this being Equestria, crime is almost nonexistent. Undeterred, he had his mom make him a bright red cape and mask. So now, when injustice reigns, when the innocent cry out, or when he just doesn't feel like doing his homework, mild-mannered Nimble Bolt dons his cape and mask and becomes Crimson Thunder! Protector of truth, justice, and the Equestrian Way! (No, he doesn't really know what 'the Equestrian Way' means; he just thinks it sounds cool).

Like many young ponies without a cutie mark, he was picked on by the ones who already had them. For the most part, he would just ignore them and go back to his comic books and fantasies. The bullies made a mistake, though, when they decided to pick on his friend (don't know who yet, I'll need to ask around) while he was him nearby. Quick as a flash, he ducked into the nearest hiding place (which happened to be Dr Whooves' surprisingly roomy shed) and emerged for the first time as Crimson Thunder! One dramatic entrance and an even more dramatic monologue was more than enough to scare the bullies away. When he removed his cape later, he noticed that his cutie mark had appeared, symbolizing his desire to bring swift justice to the oppressors of the innocent. Other than that day, Crimson's record is pretty bare. While he's extremely enthusiastic, he's still growing into his hooves and has a tendency to trip over himself at the absolute worst (and most embarrassing) moments. He can fly a little, but he's not very good at it yet and he tires quickly.

He lives in Ponyville with his mother, a unicorn who works as a seamstress. (Totally canon.) His father works in the weather factory in Cloudsdale and commutes from home.

[Skye]

I'd like to see you fill out his summary a little bit more. Go on a bit about his family and what makes him unique! I think he looks like a fun, playful character so far, but tell us a bit about what made him feel this Chronic Hero Syndrome, what spurs him on, what is his place in his family like? Anything to fill him out a bit more, but just a bit!

[Dubstep]

Oohho, me like, this is just what DC needs! What good is an evil mastermind bent on world domination without a Super Hero to thwart him?!

[MudBug]

I love the idea, maybe a bit more depth and I can see this going places for sure. <3

[the_hittite]

I added a little more detail to the original post. I'm not sure if the comic books are okay or not, though.

[Thunder Boomer]

He sounds cute. Comic books should be fine. You will need to expand on his motivation a little more. What motivates the way he behaves? This is also where usually where you put how the pony got their cutie mark, what it represents, etc.

[the_hittite]

I changed his back story a bit to make his motivation a little better. I hope everything's okay (it's kid of late here, I'm not entirely sure how clear I'm thinking).

Also, I should probably mention that Crimson Thunder is the name of a Hammerfall song that I shamelessly stole.

[Tempest Rime]

Haha! I thought of that song at first, then immediately figured it couldn't be that and dismissed the thought.

[MyLittlePonyTales]

This looks pretty good!

Just one more little thing. Many expand a little on his parents, perhaps what they do for a living. You don't mention a father, perhaps he has none, which is fine. Just tell a little more about his home life, then this will probably be ready for approval.

[Manestream]

This is getting close to approval- i'd like to hear more about MLPT's suggestion, as well as a definition of the "equestrian way" in your OC's mind. I think those two elements would nicely fill this out.

[the_hittite]

Finally updated. It's getting close to finals and I've had trouble focusing long enough to come up with something.

His parents are vaguely defined mostly because I don't really plan on using them much. Mostly just to give Crimson a convenient (if embarrassing) way to exit a scene when dinner/bed time rolls around. That said, feel free to make them into fully fledged characters.

[Skye]

I think he's good to go. ^_^ If you need to update him, you can do so, but any major revisions will require the app going back into Applications. Approved!