Pegasus [FINAL] Flare Runner

[xdivetisdashx]

Roleplay Type: Fim/Show Roleplay

Name: Flare Runner

Gender: Male

Age: Stallion

Species: Pegasus

Coat Color: Dark Blue

Mane/Tail Color & Style: Long, Straight and wavy, Orangescale (instead of greyscale)

Eye Color: Dark Yellow

Cutie Mark: A flaming lightning bolt

Physique: Strong, Slightly Taller, Fit, athletic, sturdy

Origin: Cloudsdale

Occupation: Cloudsdale Weather Factory Worker

Motivation: He never really knew what his cutie mark meant until a Wonderbolt told him he had talent. Since then he's always worked out, as something to keep him occupied when bored, to improve his strength, speed and agility. When he found that simply pushing himself to his limits wasn't enough, he realized he needed more motivation, he decided trying out for the Wonderbolts was the way to spike motivation, and since then he's been trying out.

Likes: Flying, the Wonderbolts, training, games, listening to music (A lot of Rock and Rap), drawing, playing sports, Winning

Dislikes: Losing, some other workers at the factory, arguments, classical music

Character Summary: Flare Runner is a Stallion who has tried before to get into the Wonderbolts. He was always a pretty good flier ever since the Flight Academy, one of the stop students in his class. However, he never looked up to the Wonderbolts and never really admired them, but he certainly knew who they were. When he got the chance to meet one of them, only shortly after he got his Cutie Mark, he told them that he was training harder than ever, hoping to get the tryout date, as he'd never been to one before. That Wonderbolt told Him it was only weeks away, making him want to strain himself as an athlete. Ever since he realized how substantially his flying had improved just over those few weeks, he started working out more in his spare time, training and improving his strength every day until he'd be able to try out once more.

He got his Cutie Mark when he saved a mare’s daughter, who was also his friend from Flight School, from burning to death by flying into their burning house, using his speed to save her just before it collapsed entirely.

When he was just a colt in flight school, he was pretty popular. He wasn’t a jerk, more of a nice guy in a way, helping those who needed tips on flying and giving them motivation whenever they were down. He had quite a few friends, and was one of the more athletic in his age group. He placed third in an in-school race, only finishing 1.2 seconds behind the winner of the race, who set a school record that day. He was one of the last in his class to obtain his cutie mark, but nevertheless retained his popularity. He never liked to pick fights or get into arguments either and it shows still today.

He currently has a job as a Weather Manager in the Ponyville area, under the Cloudsdale Weather Factory’s ruling of course. He still resides in Cloudsdale, and has a nice house not far from either Cloudsdale nor Ponyville. Ponyville is basically his second home, since he does most of his shopping there. He also has some friends there, and does enjoy socializing and making new friends, hanging out with them if he was bored or if the wanted him to, since he usually doesn’t have much to do anyways except work out and train for the Wonderbolts. He would never let his own desires get in the way of him comforting a friend in need, or attending to a friend’s event that was scheduled that day, unless of course he had to move some clouds. Although Flare Runner does not like to pick fights, argue, or break the rules, if there;s a problem, he’s not afraid to throw up the hooves and defend his and his friends’ honor. He may be a competitive pony but it doesn’t mean he’s desperate to win all the time. He does indulge himself in friendly competition from time to time, often being one of the first picked or nominated to be a team captain, as he's proven time and time again how athletic and agile he is. He particularly enjoys racing other pegasi and the occasional game of horseshoes or hoofball, and never really pushes too hard unless he feels extra motivated or spurred on, whether by having a bad day or sparring insults, he never takes sports too lightly but usually doesn't find himself acting overcompetetive.

So in short, Flare Runner has always been a good guy to know. Even if he doesn’t share the same interests as somepony else, he’s not afraid to venture outside his comfort one and give something new a try. And even if he DOESN’T enjoy it, he’ll always try to find the good in people and befriend them if they seem like someone he could chill and hang out with every once in a while.

[QuickLime]

You realize you accidently put earth pony instead of Pegasus right?

[QuickLime]

Flare Runner is a Stallion who has tried before to get into the Wonderbolts. He was always a pretty good flier ever since the Flight Academy, one of the stop students in his class. However, he never looked up to the Wonderbolts and never really admired them, but he certainly knew who they were. When he got the chance to meet one of them, only shortly after he got his Cutie Mark, he told them that he wanted to be a Wonderbolt, since he realized his Cutie Mark meant for him to fly fast. But when they told him he would never be anything, he aspired to work harder than he ever had before, training and working out daily for the annual tryouts.

I don't know, I rp as a wonderbolt and Several people here do as well and that doesn't seem like something a wonderbolt would say to anyone trying to join them, it sounds a bit mean spirited too.

[xdivetisdashx]

I don't know, I rp as a wonderbolt and Several people here do as well and that doesn't seem like something a wonderbolt would say to anyone trying to join them, it sounds a bit mean spirited too.

Alright, fair enough. I'll edit it so that he's received motivation instead.

You realize you accidently put earth pony instead of Pegasus right?

oopsies

[QuickLime]

Yeah I read it and was all "..an Earth Pony from Cloudsdale...?o_o"

[xdivetisdashx]

Yeah I read it and was all "..an Earth Pony from Cloudsdale...?o_o"

Yeah I messed that up because I was doing my podcast at the same time, and someone just said "Who's the other Earth Pony in the Mane 6?".

It's fixed now, and I'd like a revision.

[brianblackberry]

Reading the application, I feel that it is pretty solid overall but could use a few tweaks in a couple areas to make him a little more well-rounded and ready to go.

Reading about his cutie mark, I would find it difficult that he couldn't interpret what it meant, especially given when and how he received it. Given that it obviously wouldn't be about the weather, it would have to do with his ability to sweep in and rescue the trapped pony in time, in otherwords his speed. He doesn't seem to be that dense, so not to figure it out quickly or ask about it with friends early on and have one of them figure it out and with that, him realizing. Right now it feels oddly artificial and doesn't contribute to him as a character.

It should also be noted in his app that one day he hopes to get into the Wonderbolts as no pony is guaranteed to ever get in the elite group since there are very few openings.

I would also give a little more coverage to his other hobbies, especially sports, as it sounds like he would do well in various sports and enjoy playing then, perhaps even on a semi-pro level (while keeping his real job as a weather pony).

[xdivetisdashx]

Reading the application, I feel that it is pretty solid overall but could use a few tweaks in a couple areas to make him a little more well-rounded and ready to go.

Reading about his cutie mark, I would find it difficult that he couldn't interpret what it meant, especially given when and how he received it. Given that it obviously wouldn't be about the weather, it would have to do with his ability to sweep in and rescue the trapped pony in time, in otherwords his speed. He doesn't seem to be that dense, so not to figure it out quickly or ask about it with friends early on and have one of them figure it out and with that, him realizing. Right now it feels oddly artificial and doesn't contribute to him as a character.

It should also be noted in his app that one day he hopes to get into the Wonderbolts as no pony is guaranteed to ever get in the elite group since there are very few openings.

I would also give a little more coverage to his other hobbies, especially sports, as it sounds like he would do well in various sports and enjoy playing then, perhaps even on a semi-pro level (while keeping his real job as a weather pony).

hmm... I guess I did make him seem kinda like a dumb XD

Also, I think the mere mention of one training for the 'Bolts is kind of assuming they hope to get in.

And I should include he's a sports player, eh?

[brianblackberry]

And I should include he's a sports player, eh?

You mention as one of his likes is sports, given his athleticism and speed and his desire to one day be a Wonderbolt, I figure he would be into some sports as more than a spectator. It is just an idea, he is your character after all.

[xdivetisdashx]

You mention as one of his likes is sports, given his athleticism and speed and his desire to one day be a Wonderbolt, I figure he would be into some sports as more than a spectator. It is just an idea, he is your character after all.

A good idea at that. It's been edited.

[xdivetisdashx]

For Great Justice!

suh-weet!

[xdivetisdashx]

How's this application coming along?

[MyLittlePonyTales]

How's this application coming along?

[Dio]

Flare Runner is a Stallion who has tried before to get into the Wonderbolts. He was always a pretty good flier ever since the Flight Academy, one of the stop students in his class. However, he never looked up to the Wonderbolts and never really admired them, but he certainly knew who they were. When he got the chance to meet one of them, only shortly after he got his Cutie Mark, he told them that he was training harder than ever, hoping to get the tryout date, as he'd never been to one before.

If he hasn't admired them or particularly cared for them, what drove him to try and get a tryout with them? That's just a jarring bit of inconsistency I'd like to see addressed, as it is a huge part of his motivations.

[xdivetisdashx]

If he hasn't admired them or particularly cared for them, what drove him to try and get a tryout with them? That's just a jarring bit of inconsistency I'd like to see addressed, as it is a huge part of his motivations.

He wants to be famous, and to know for himself he's an incredible flier. The only way he feels he can prove it to himself is by getting into the Wonderbolts.

[RCTwilightSparkle]

He wants to be famous, and to know for himself he's an incredible flier. The only way he feels he can prove it to himself is by getting into the Wonderbolts.

These aspirations don't really come off clearly in your application, you're going to need to make a few adjustments so that this character appears cohesive. Right now things are still a bit confusing...

Edit: Because this will be your second set of revisions after being stamped, I'm going to put him back into applications so you can work on him there.

Edited May 21, 2012 by Helix

[xdivetisdashx]

These aspirations don't really come off clearly in your application, you're going to need to make a few adjustments so that this character appears cohesive. Right now things are still a bit confusing...

Edit: Because this will be your second set of revisions after being stamped, I'm going to put him back into applications so you can work on him there.

Any suggestion there on how I can make it clearer then?

[Dio]

He wants to be famous, and to know for himself he's an incredible flier. The only way he feels he can prove it to himself is by getting into the Wonderbolts.

I would emphasize this then. Focus on him wanting to be the best that he can be. You can say that he tests himself when he can and that eventually he found that the final threshold was trying out for the Wonderbolts. There could also be a bit about the point where he accepts that the Wonderbolts would be the next step in his development so he overcomes his old hesitation and tries out.

[MyLittlePonyTales]

How is this Application coming along?

[xdivetisdashx]

I think it's gotten back to it's finalized stage.

[Dio]

I would emphasize this then. Focus on him wanting to be the best that he can be. You can say that he tests himself when he can and that eventually he found that the final threshold was trying out for the Wonderbolts. There could also be a bit about the point where he accepts that the Wonderbolts would be the next step in his development so he overcomes his old hesitation and tries out.

Did you consider my remarks?

[xdivetisdashx]

Did you consider my remarks?

Oopsies. I think I forgot to put that in.

I'll make sure of it right away!

[MyLittlePonyTales]

Oopsies. I think I forgot to put that in.

I'll make sure of it right away!

Alright, comment when you've updated.

[xdivetisdashx]

Just did.

[SunsetSombra]

I've read over the application, and consider it just about ready for stamping - seems like you've considered the words of advice and altered accordingly!

Good luck with the next stage!