Avery

Hello everyone, Avery here with more ramblings. Now, I honestly don't mean to put myself as say a downer, since I feel as if that was the feeling of the last blog post I made. I'm generally a cheerful guy, though my cheerfulness doesn't always show because of family and certain friends... sad as that is. But, I'm getting off topic. Now, I've seen several videos of Dr.Wolf, and most of them rock my mind with questions. Usually revolving around myself... since I'm trying to find out what to do at the moment with everything like it is. Because, honestly... I'm not having the best time with figuring out what to do. Especially with a father that kinda looks down on your way of communicating with friends... and such things like that. I'm trying to figure out what to do, to keep writing to get noticed, or do something else. Because I dream of sharing the wonders of creativity with the world... and I usually do that with writing, though... I'm scared to. I want to share my thoughts and such with the world... but I'm afraid that I'll be kicked to the curb, tossed like just some worthless bag of trash set to burn in a furnace. I really want to share my ideas... But how can I, when my mind just tells me to not do so and save myself from the seemingly unstoppable onslaught of negativity to face? I understand that there are negative things out there, but having them ruin your work is not something I want to experience. It'll hurt my already fragile mind. I honestly want people to read my works, give some feedback and everything. Though... I'm scared that it'll be called something of a horrible design, that I can't share the creativity that I want to share. ...But why am I thinking like that? Shouldn't I be positive about the reviews I'll get? Or is that just too much to ask for? To be able to not have these fears curse your mind? I'm not putting myself up as a way to get views on anything, that'd really be scrapping the bottom of the barrel. I'm just asking... why is this fear running around? I want to share my creations... but this fear is just making me stop in my tracks. Why? Why can't I proceed with what I love to do..? *sigh* Sorry, kinda making this into another venting thing. But, I'm really confused. You don't have to pay attention to me with this, I'm just kinda rambling on... also, EXTREMELY hard to type on a phone. I hope I get my computer back. I hope you have a wonderful day, and a lovely night, until we meet again.

Well, hello and greetings from the mind of a person that simply wishes to expand upon a world. My name is Avery, and I decided to make a little blog thing to basically... I'm not sure, just ramble about random things that come to mind? I guess that's what happens around here sometimes, having people post random goings on or story purposes. I don't normally do blog type sayings, though I feel that just changing my status isn't a good idea when trying to express something. Like the ever boggling question of joining Canterlot Chronicles, or World of Equestria. I always feel like I should make an effort to make it so that I'm contributing to the community, and that means sharing my ideas with everyone, which I love to do. ...Thing is, it's extremely hard for me to make it so. I know there are the certain rules that should be followed so that people won't put in something like an over-the-top character, Like a forgotten Princess of Ice that was trapped within the frozen wastelands of northern Equestria during the tragic loss of the Crystal Empire a thousand years ago. Though there is a lot of potential for a story arc like that, however, people are forced to turn away from CC and WoE because of those rules and only stick with FFA. Now, I'm not pushing on the rules at all, though it does put myself at a very deep disadvantage when immersing myself into the world of Equestria. As one of my characters, ironically named Avery, cannot be put into those groups. Because of certain ordeals that I can understand, though it makes me feel guilty that I can't contribute to the community when sitting on the sidelines in FFA. As it seems to be the only place I can... freely do whatever I so desire. Not that I don't mind... though it feels as if I'm missing out on a lot of the RPs that go on, missing out on a lot of the fun moments that I could have. I want to join CC and WoE... though I'm forced not to because I won't be as immersed as I want to be. A lot of my other characters, are just... ponies that go about their lives. There's... not a lot to do with a stubborn Gemspony, an isolated Violinist, and a stuck up Drama Queen. I do have one other present character... a Changeling... though he's never going to see the light of day just like Avery won't. Though I have these other characters I could use... I only made them because I felt that it would be good to introduce them someway in the future. My mind is still trying to recover from my two year avoidance of the fandom in and of itself, so their personalities besides the mains that I worked heavily on are almost non-existent. But I still want to join in with everyone else... but how can I with barely any characters to really use? *sigh* Now, I know you might be thinking "So... why don't you work on those characters as well?" I would, and I should... if not for the fact that I can't stay on one topic for long. It's hard for me to keep to one topic and be happy with it, I usually need a friend to help me along... else I get depressed. All of these characters I have a basic storyline for, and that's all you really need for a good character... it's just that I'm trying to make a connection with them again. Having that connection is what truly makes RP so fun. Though, it puts me in a valley of right and wrong. Each cliff looks the same, so which one am I supposed to climb in order to climb out safely? Should I risk being depressed in order to have another character to work with? Or should I just wait for another day? Or should I just forget it and work on something else? It's just so much on my mind, too much to just calm down and work. I've been trying to restrict myself to one fandom at a time... though it seems that I can't sway away from others. There's too many stories to be told, to be shared, and I want to expand upon the worlds that I see, to give more creativity to people. I... that... *sigh* I just don't know what to do with trying to join in with either CC or WoE, because it's really hard just to get the one character that I want to use to explore that world so that I can be immersed to the best that I can be. Oh well, I chose this. Avery's an Alicorn, I'm not changing that fact. Son of Celestia to explain why he's an Alicorn, and him being missing for the past so many years to explain why he wasn't mentioned before. Forgotten and lost, almost never to be heard or seen from again. That's... part of the story I laid down in stone, and it took 5 years to make it perfect. Nothing too bad, nothing too good, nothing to make it out of character, everything is in it's right place. ...I should stop before I make this into a story time segment, heheh. Anyway, I'm just rambling here, you don't have to listen. Just letting out steam that's built up so it doesn't bust my brain. I hope you have a wonderful day, and a lovely night, until we meet again.