VioletAllure

For me, It's 'helping Twilight win the crown'. Didn't think anything could knock out 'art of the dress', but it happened!

In my headcanon.. once upon a time, they were an elite military unit. But as the centuries passed, and the need for such thing fell away, they became more and more parade and show oriented, and now are a still part of the Royal Army, but almost exclusively entertain.

Bleary eyed and exhausted, Mystery Veil stumbled towards Donut Joe's, same as she did every (extremely early) morning. By habit, she grabbed the door's handle in her teeth, and pulled. The door remained stubbornly closed. She pulled harder. Still closed, the door smirked at her. (Or perhaps her sleepy brain was seeing things with the upturned, u-shaped, door handles.) She planted a hoof on the wall beside the door, bit down hard, and pulled, desperately, powerfully. Still the monstrous, mocking, mischievous, miserable door remained closed! Sagging in defeat, she slumped onto the ground, and let out a melodramatic, anger filled screech. The construction ponies tried to be discrete, but quite a few were laughing. One kindly, rugged looking stallion pointed towards the sign on the door, then in the direction of Donut Joe's temporary donut stand. With as much dignity as she could muster, Mystery Veil cantered towards the stand, tail held sheepishly between her legs. She walked up to the stand, dropping a few bits onto the hastily constructed stall. Voice clipped, but still trying to be polite, she spoke, "One donut. One.. pot of coffee. Please." She tried to smile, but failed, staring wistfully at the coffee on the other side of the stall.

Edits made. Certainly didn't mean to imply she could use magic. Most of the lorebuilding was just me gushing to add colour, didn't mean to list it as fact, and I cleaned it up. (Changed the snobby thing too, but there are.. non-snobby ponies in Canterlot? ?)

Sleepless was very good. But it was never about Rainbow dash, it was about Scootaloo, I loved that episode. All the episodes about the CMC members have been great since the end of season 2. (Hurricane Fluttershy had a very weird feel to me, like they wrote the RD parts for a different character, but then changed it for thematic purposes. We know this sometimes happens, Spike at your service was going to be a Rarity episode at one point)

Hi. Love to have you here! Its 99% angst free. Sometimes muffins are serious business. Probably can't tell you where to watch this wonderful show, but YOU probably know the TUBE. If you catch my totally subtle drift.

Before Heart's and Hooves day, I didn't like the CMC or any of their episodes, including appleblooms, but now I love the trio, and their episodes. Many of Pinkies episodes didn't fly for me on first watch, but now I like them. This unfortunately works in reverse as well for me. I've been slowing going off Rainbow Dash for a while, to the point where Wonderbolts academy is the only episode of Season 3 I've only finished one time.

I'm trying not to be incredibly negative but.. its like getting kicked in the stomach, when you respond to a bump instantly, but no feedback has ever been given on the one edit I was asked to do.

The requested edits were made.

Formatting looks good to my untrained eye now. Theres on little bit where you use colt instead of filly. (History paragraph 3, line 1) You might be asked to expand on her like, dislikes or hobbies in Character summary. Maybe explain what the spells that helped her interact with others were in character history. (Sorry for being nitpicky, )

I'm not a RPH, but wanted to offer my two bits You have a really engaging writing style, its very easy to picture what your describing. It would probably be best if you said you weren't close to your parents, not that you didn't know them. And ponies don't get bullied for being different in Equestria, (from reading the WOE guidelines, bullying victim is frowned upon as a character trope) Still, I had fun reading her, and hope you get to play her soon. ...

I do. Should I drop the edited edition in here, or just want a like message using the insite mail?

I know I'm hardly qualified, but logged on and this caught my eye. You tell a really fun story, and it feels like you've captured Luna's personality well. There are a number of niggling grammatical issues, especially in the history section, mostly to do with switching mid sentence between past and present tense, but a couple of places where pronouns get misleading. For instance, in history, sentence one, it would be better to say his eldest brother was destined to raise the sun, instead of his eldest brother being destined to raise the sun. (If you'd an editor, i'm bored, and not doing anything else right now)

Can somebody comment.. please?

Life in equestria shimmers! Life in equestria shines! And i know for for absolute certain. That this app will be just fine!

How's that? Dropped a bridge on mum, removed most info about brother's/father and filled out her filly years a bit. Part of what I was going was when she was growing up, she was closer to her family then her friends. Hope this fixed things. Also on the re-edit noticed my tenses were a bit shaky from time to time, feel free to help with grammar. ...

I like your app . Your character has a very show ready feel to him. He works with nature, something very important to earth ponies. Your writing feels polished as well! As an editor and critique, there are a couple of missing pieces of punctuation, florist's vs florists, for instance, and I'd love to hear a little more about your relationship with your sister

I do understand, but its a little disheartening.I'm just super-excited. I just want someponies app to get approved, so I can imagine im moving up the list . (Also may I ask if its ok to comment on people's characters before I have one approved myself? I know I love getting feedback )

Got kinda curious about how long, things like RP approval take, and went archive browsing. Its been like two weeks since a new character was approved? Is there like a hiatus or something.

I was more looking at how I like a smaller family dynamic, ala applejack style (but without any implied tragedy) but I can see how it could be a problem.,If I get told its problematic, then It'd be easy enough ship mum back home . I had really wanted to play the whole, moved to Canterlot, but had a family member there to run to if needed. I can easily make it somepony else if it comes to that. Thank you very much for the thoughtful critique!

Roleplay Type: World of Equestria Name:Mystery Veil Sex: Female Age: Young Adult Species: Earth Pony Eye colour: Bluebell, a very soft mix of purple and grey, She wears a pair of round, non-medical glasses of a gentle violet, in academic or formal settings. Coat: White, with the tiniest hint of gold. Mane/Tail: She has a two toned mane of flaxen blond and pastel violet. She wears her mane long and straight, just long enough to brush her front legs, parted to both sides in traditional unicorn fashion. She painstakingly styles it every morning in an attempt to make it look professional and perfectly straight, though by the end of the day it has usually transitioned into loosely controlled, windblown chaos. Physique: She is slender and noticeably shorter than the average pony, with nearly non-existent muscle mass. Residence: She currently lives in a miniscule apartment, in a seedy district of the capital of Canterlot, (though seedy by Canterlot standards can still be considered elegant by the standards of some cities). The apartment has 3 rooms, which she has dubbed the Librara-itchen, the living room with a bed, and the bathroom 'that totally has only a shower and not a full bath' room. Occupation: She currently works as the barely paid interim for an eccentric professor of magic, while she works on her master’s degree. Cutie Mark: Three violet stars on the cover of a pseudo-leather bound book. She got her cutie mark by helping out her younger, unicorn, brother through his magic kindergarten homework. He had always been a very weak reader, and needed help through the material. While she was explaining it to him, which he found extremely dull, she fell in love with the subject. On the next weekend she tore through his textbooks, and started tutor him. The afternoon after he wrote his first exam, he ran in and showed it to her, a high passing grade. Her cutie mark then appeared which represented her ability to teach and understand magical theory. History: Mystery Veil grew up in the Chenya district of Stalliongrad, in northern Equestria. She was born to an earth-pony father, Ironhooves, and a unicorn mother, Moonflitter, on a viciously cold evening just after the yearly Hearthswarming Eve celebrations. She has three brothers, two older and one younger. Ironhooves as burly as he was stern, though he spoiled his only daughter something fierce. She would say she was spoiled sweet; the rest of the family would describe it as spoiled rotten. Her father worked at a local steel mill, very close to the family home, with her eldest brother, Steelhorn, eventually joining him there. Her middle brother Silverbit, was only slightly older then her, and attended school in the same year. They were nearly inseparable until college. Her youngest brother, Rusty Moon, is currently still in primary school. She always had a close relationship with her brothers, and was a bit rougher around the edges than the average mare growing up because of it. Going through school, she was curious and a hard worker. She did very well, and was more then a bit insufferable about it, sometimes alienating her class mates. After graduating primary school, near the top of her class in most subjects, she was accepted into Stalliongrad University’s magical studies program. She jumped into the work with maniacal enthusiasm, scoring excellent grades, but her relationships with her old schoolfriends suffered because of it. She worked part time as a waitress at a bar near her home, something her father’s rough and tumble coworkers teased him about relentlessly. Her father and eldest brother helped with her tuition, and after recieving her bachelor’s degree, she received a scholarship into the magical theory program at the prestigious Canterlot University. She has only been attending school in Canterlot for a short time, and is just in the process of meeting new friends, and settling down there. This is the first time in her life she has spent any time apart from her very close knit family. When she graduates, she hopes to go into research for a while, with eventual plans to get her doctorate and teach. Character Summary: Mystery Veil is quick on her feet, with a caustic tongue. She is very fond of friendly arguing, and likes to play devil’s advocate. She tends towards friendly insults with friends, though is often too sharp with strangers. She was a bit of a bully in school, but after one extremely humiliating parent teacher conference learned to control her mouth somewhat. She loves learning, and is surprisingly patient with people who have less comprehension about subjects then herself. Her special talent is magical theory, and anyone asking how an Earthpony can have a talent like that will probably get quite an earful. She is more than a passable cook as well, being handily the best in her family growing up. She favours traditional Stalliongrad foods, and has had some trouble adjusting to the different cuisine in Canterlot. She thinks she has a solid singing voice, most people will tell her this isn’t true, and the ones who won’t probably just don’t want to be yelled at. She is outgoing, but has been known to offend people fairly easily. She is an avid sports fan, a hazard of growing up with too many brothers. She is a patriotic Stalliongradder, supporting all their local teams, and has more than a bit of an obsession with the Equestrian games. Always the academic, she loves advanced sports statistics, something that annoyed her family members.. She has started to get into hoofball since moving south, though cold weather sports were far more popular at home. She tries to cover up her Stalliongrad accent, thinking that Canterlot is snobbish, and it might hold her back, though when she is excited or angry it becomes very obvious. She is rather annoyed at times by her youthful appearance, going through some lengths to make herself look more serious and academic. She is very ok with friends teasing her about it, though when strangers do it she gets incensed. She is very passionate about the minutiae of magic, and will rant on about it in an increasingly accented voice if given any opening. She loves her schooling, though finds Canterlot frightfully expensive and is more than a little intimidated by the cities over the top sophistication. She has a bit of an inferiority complex about being a young earthpony in her field, fearful that she might not be able to truly excel, and is quite vocally defensive about it.

I'm new too! Thought I'd say hi, and welcome

Saw an ad, on Cracked.com of all places for this, and decided I had to check it out! Looks like a lot of fun here, and I have experience in online roleplay, as well as theater improv, which totally counts. So, Hi Everypony! Nice to meet you.