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Starstruck [FINAL]

Starstruck

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Starstruck

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Roleplay Type:World of Equestria Rp

Name:Starstruck

Sex:Female

Age:Mare

Species:Pegasus

Eye Color:Pale purple

Coat Color:Light blue

Mane/Tail/Markings Color & Style: White mane with a purple streak down it along with her tail both naturally strait. She has freckles along with white tipping on her hooves and muzzle.(Like Twilight's mane; Attachment 1)

Physique:Slightly smaller for a pegasus pony but, like Fleet Foot, what she lacks in size, she makes up for in speed.

Cutie Mark:A Heartshaped music note with a star crossing over it (Cutemark story in Summary; Attachment 2)

Origin/Residence:Canterlot/ Ponyville but does not stay there often(Story in Summary)

Occupation: She is a traveling Bard singing of the olden times of Equestria and the surrounding lands. She tends to sing in town squares working as a Street Performer and Bard on regular days mostly and occationally singing at a dinner party or two around the different towns.

Motivation:She keeps going even though fate has cruelly warped her original plans. She plans to become a Wonderbolt by not telling them about her disability before she is accepted.

Likes: Rain, thunderstorms, a good book, chocolate, nights, flying fast, and Hot Coco,

Dislikes: Bright sunlight,things jumping out and scaring her, Loud noises,

Character Summary:She moved to Canterlot before she was born. Her mother was five months along when her father got a new job working at the local grocer's market as his talent is managing things. She was born normally in the Canterlot Hospital. Her mother and father were ecstatic to have a filly all their own. But she was a curious little tyke. They had just brought her home when she first escaped her crib. They couldn't keep her in the darn thing and they didn't know why. After a few times they just accepted it and went on with their lives after placing her back in the crib only for her to escape yet again.

She went to school and learned how to do all the fancy mathematics and went to Flight school in the summer, but nothing was more important to Starstruck than getting into the Wonderbolts. She had heard of them when she first went to flight camp. She was amazed by the speed of the pegasi that were on the team and she knew she had to get on that team. She actually had a poster of the whole Wonderbolts team which is autographed by each team member.From that moment on, she strove to be the fasted and the quickest at every activity the camp instructors had put her to, and she slowly grew to the front of the class. Her coaches were impressed and they inputted her for the Young Fliers competition. Though she didn't win the day with the Wonderbolts, she had still gotten second and she now knew how fast she needed to be next year. But Fate decided to intervene.

On a certain day only a few years after Starstruck had been born and shortly after her summer at flight camp, there was to be an Eclipse. They all had been warned by scientists not to look directly at the Eclipse for the sake of their eye sight. That day, her parents had gone out to watch the event alone and had hired a foalsitter to watch her. The Unicorn had no idea what hit her as she had zoomed around the room, hitting her head on the ceiling occasionally. Both the foalsitter and the small pegasus foal went out side to watch the anomaly. Everypony watched as the moon crossed directly in between the Earth and sun, covering the sun entirely, pausing for a few seconds, then returning back towards the horizon. Starstruck couldn't resist a peak at the rare anomaly and what she saw was so beautiful that she couldn't describe it for the world and continued to stare at it for minutes. But the next moment, Fate decided to have a little fun with the small filly's destiny. All the small filly could remember was a burning sensation, and then slowly everything started to grow darker until there was nothing but black.... thick dark black.

Her parents were furious. She had never see- heard them be so shocked. She had sat crying silently, still staring at where she had seen the eclipse, for ten minutes before her foalsitter noticed something was wrong with the rambunctious girl. The poor unicorn asked what was wrong and the small filly slowly felt her eyes open but she couldn't see her sitter's bright yellow face. The bright purple color they had once been was now a foggy pale purple due to the sun anomaly. They were horrible and yet beautiful at the same time, or so she had been told. She for one will never see again. Her parents had immediately rushed her to the hospital after a weeping foalsitter called and told them everything. But there was no help for her eyes. And if she couldn't see, it wasn't safe for her to fly in a big city such as Canterlot. Her father thought it best to have one of them in the room at all times when she was at home so that she didn't hurt herself by flying into anything. They also had her promise that she would not fly at school or when ever she was outside, and of course she promised. Her parents had to meet with her teacher because any written papers she would have gotten she would not have passed so they eventually told her teacher about it, but the nice pony was sworn that she would tell no pony after the filly's request.

Years past, and one day, the exotic bird sales man happened to pass by as the young ponies were having lunch. Starstruck heard the songs that the birds were singing and quietly started to hum a song that her mom use to sing to her. She had heard other ponies singing and, having never tried it herself, she wanted to try it as well. She opened her mouth and sang a lullaby about resting sleepy heads. Everypony in and around the school yard were so amazed at what they had heard they all burst into applause. She blushed and ducked at the applause but she knew that she had something special. Then there were whispers about a cutie mark and she immediately looked down at her flank before she could stop herself. Her eyes started to well-up with tears at the darkness that was so consistent for her nowadays, but she didn't let her disability keep her down for long. She jumped up and down like any young foal at finally getting the one thing that every foal desired. Later, before her parents came to pick her up from school, she asked her teacher what the mark on her flank looked like. The mare happily described the bright red heart-shaped note that now branded her sides but was confused by the star that was shooting into it. The filly knew exactly what it meant and her spirits soared at the thought. The star represented her speed in the sky and she now knew that her parents couldn't keep her on the ground for long. Her parents had been impressed that she had gotten her cutie mark and quickly found singing classes to hone the singing ability in order to drive her true dream out of her mind. It fortunately did not work, for she knew what they were trying to do to her.

Even more years past and she grew into a fine young mare, but her parents- being the overprotective type- still would not let her move out of the house. She continued on growing slowly farther away from her parents knowing that they would never let her have the freedom of flying.She started to go out to a park that was near her house at night and fly around above the trees slowly training her wings back into shape. This was fine and all but she didn't like flying only at night to avoid her parents. She thought about what to do and she came to the conclusion that she would have to run away. But where would she run to? She knew that her parents would do everything to find her and so she decided she would have to move around. She looked up traveling jobs and found one that she felt most comfortable with. A bard could travel from town to town without looking suspicious, and she knew a lot about Equestrian folklore, but where to start? She had heard that there had been a lot of activity in Ponyville recently and it sounded like a quaint little town. She also heard that it was a small town with only one building over two or three stories tall, which meant that she would be able to fly with out running into anything. She quickly arranged for a train ticket to Ponyville on months of saved up allowance. She was out of her father's reach by the next morning, her autographed photo of the Wonderbolts under one wing and twenty bits to her name. Her departure went off without a hitch, having not told anypony she was leaving. Sure she had friends... but they didn't really care for her. None of them had even once questioned why her eyes were so blank when ever they talked to her. You see, she never told anypony she was blind, because she didn't want to be treated differently because of her disability.

She had heard the sounds of birds as the train passed trees on the way to Ponyville and she hummed along happily having something to distract her from what she had done that morning. She arrived in Ponyville around midday and turned to the pony standing on the loading dock next to her where the nearest coffee house was. The older stallion told her but she kindly asked him if he could lead her there since she 'did not have her barrings of the town yet.' The gentlecolt had said yes and he and his wife walked with her towards the shop. They said their names were Apollo and Juniper Branch. The two introduced themselves as aristocrats that were staying in their get-away home in Ponyville for a few day and made a few comments on the weather patrols poor job at keeping the skies clear. They ended up getting coffee together and they talked at the cafe for a little while longer. The quickly got around to the topic of cutie marks and she told them about her singing abilities. They almost had to beg her to give them a sample and when she finally did, they loved it. They asked her to come and sing at their party that was later on that week and she agreed since they said they would pay her. They were about to leave before the wife asked about her eyes. She thought about lying to them but since they had been so friendly with her, she told them the entire story.

Both Apollo and Juniper were appalled that her parents would do such a thing to her, saying that she had never heard of stuck a thing as not allowing a pegasus filly to fly. StarStruck smiled sadly before bidding them adew but Juniper Branch stopped her before she could move so much as an inch saying that she could stay with them at their get away until she was able to stand on her own four hooves. She told them she couldn't accept such an offer and she told them that she planed to be a bard but the older mare was insistant that the blind Pegasus stay with them. She said that everypony needs some place to call home every once in a while. Juniper offered her that she could pay them rent while they stayed in Canterlot if she agreed to play at any of their parties when they asked and that she kept the house clean. Starstruck knew she would never be able to find a better deal and agreed to it following them back to their lavish home towards the center of town. She was finally starting to put her horrible past behind her.

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brianblackberry Alicorn

brianblackberry

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Greetings, reading over your application, it seems pretty coming with a full backstory, however there are a couple things I feel I need to point out and ask about before stamping.

Occupation:She teaches younger birds to sing and takes care of them when they are sick or injured. She also helps out at Sugar Cube Corner to get the rent paid.

Because Pinkie Pie and one of the Cake's are played by RPers here already, it would have to be oked by them to have anyone else employed there at all (otherwise it impairs how they wish to RP that place by imposing another player there without their consent, which isn't fair); especially given the established canon that Pinkie is the only employee of the Cakes. Also it is unlikely they would just hire someone else with no experience in the confectionery business unless really convinced otherwise (and that be up to their players again).

You mentioned she got her cutie mark through her ability to sing and that her occupation was teaching birds to sing and well as caring for them. That is certainly fine of course, but here a significant portion of her story is missing. How did she first embark on the idea of teaching birds to sing as a career decision after the realization of her own singing talent (given how many possibilities such a talent would potentially offer). How did she learn to care for the birds when they suffered injury or illness (that would need a little bit of training, even if self-taught). Does she work to make bits from her bird-singing (like a local or traveling show), or from solely from her own voice talent, (or both together)?

Anyway, I just feel that this final part of her background was skimmed over and would serve her character well if it was expanded upon, as it is what she would be doing at the beginning of her RP adventures. :)

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Starstruck

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Greetings, reading over your application, it seems pretty coming with a full backstory, however there are a couple things I feel I need to point out and ask about before stamping.

Because Pinkie Pie and one of the Cake's are played by RPers here already, it would have to be oked by them to have anyone else employed there at all (otherwise it impairs how they wish to RP that place by imposing another player there without their consent, which isn't fair); especially given the established canon that Pinkie is the only employee of the Cakes. Also it is unlikely they would just hire someone else with no experience in the confectionery business unless really convinced otherwise (and that be up to their players again).

You mentioned she got her cutie mark through her ability to sing and that her occupation was teaching birds to sing and well as caring for them. That is certainly fine of course, but here a significant portion of her story is missing. How did she first embark on the idea of teaching birds to sing as a career decision after the realization of her own singing talent (given how many possibilities such a talent would potentially offer). How did she learn to care for the birds when they suffered injury or illness (that would need a little bit of training, even if self-taught). Does she work to make bits from her bird-singing (like a local or traveling show), or from solely from her own voice talent, (or both together)?

Anyway, I just feel that this final part of her background was skimmed over and would serve her character well if it was expanded upon, as it is what she would be doing at the beginning of her RP adventures. :)

Oh wow... That's a lot to go over but those two major points are very good ones I will try to think about how i can fix them.... I may possibly take out the part about the Cakes but i certainly will find the time and inspiration to go over the Singing and teaching of birds into her story soon! Thanks for the help! It is very much appreciated! :D

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TasteTheRainbow Blank Flank

TasteTheRainbow

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I notice how her talent and her goal do not really fit. Teaching birds and singing makes me think she has a calmer personality, and she wouldn't want to be flying with the Wonderbolts. It shouldn't be bad if you don't change it, but I feel like she had a large personality change. If so, maybe you should add more in about that. How she felt sad about probably never being a Wonderbolt, as she could not see. Then, maybe, finding a new goal.

I also realized you mentioned a Pinkie Promise. I'm rather sure that if your character doesn't know Pinkie, than she probably won't know the swear, as I don't think it went all around Equestria.

Another thing, you say she's a mare. This means she's an adult, but it seems as she more of a filly to me. Especially since she's still living with her family. I think you should also explain more about her cutie mark! I think you should add maybe, how it felt, and if she realized what it exactly meant.

I might also want to add, this is my first time, so...

sorry if I just completely messed all that up....

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TasteTheRainbow Blank Flank

TasteTheRainbow

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Well those are some great pointers and I think i might go with changing her job.... If only i can figure out what her new job will be.... Does anyone have some ideas?

She could be a Cloud Patrol pony. It would probably be harder for her, being blind, though. At least, I think its called Cloud Patrol. Maybe its Weather Patrol....

Hmm. Something like that. I'm pretty sure you can remove clouds in Ponyville or Canterlot, as well.

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Starstruck Blank Flank

Starstruck

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I notice how her talent and her goal do not really fit. Teaching birds and singing makes me think she has a calmer personality, and she wouldn't want to be flying with the Wonderbolts. It shouldn't be bad if you don't change it, but I feel like she had a large personality change. If so, maybe you should add more in about that. How she felt sad about probably never being a Wonderbolt, as she could not see. Then, maybe, finding a new goal.

I also realized you mentioned a Pinkie Promise. I'm rather sure that if your character doesn't know Pinkie, than she probably won't know the swear, as I don't think it went all around Equestria.

Another thing, you say she's a mare. This means she's an adult, but it seems as she more of a filly to me. Especially since she's still living with her family. I think you should also explain more about her cutie mark! I think you should add maybe, how it felt, and if she realized what it exactly meant.

I might also want to add, this is my first time, so...

sorry if I just completely messed all that up....

Okay so i think i fixed all of the problems that you presented to me and I think i'm mostly done....

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brianblackberry Alicorn

brianblackberry

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Occupation: She sings in Ponyville square, panhandling on regular days mostly and occationally singing at an aristocrats dinner party around town.

I wouldn't call her a panhandler,[as that is simply someone who begs fro money on the street (usually homeless). Instead what would be more accurate (and quite cool personally), is if she was referred to and worked as a Street Performer or Busker; this way she is an artist earning bits on the street with her voice rather than presented as a pony just begging for assistance.

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brianblackberry Alicorn

brianblackberry

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Hm that does sound better I'll fix that~.... But wouldn't that make her sound like Trix- ITS THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE TO YOU CUR!- WHATEVER!

I am not aware how familiar you are with street performers, but Trixie is really more of a full on traveling show, rather than a local street performer.

When i think street performer, I mean such as this as an example:

All he has is his violin, case, and speak, and is local. For Starstuck I can imagine her with a donation box, a box to stand on, and her beautiful singing voice in the town square. She wouldn't have to be vain like Trixie at all (unless that is her personality type already).

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