The Universal Vending Machine

[Ashton]

You get a cursed chickens foot (like the monkey's paw, only worse)

 

I insert the equation X+(7*2⁵) / (-14 + 50) - -6²

^{(I'm going to be dreadfully disappointed if nobody gets that...)}

 

^{EDIT: and yes there are multiple solutions, but one is a gag...}

[FiniteZero]

You get a broken machine.

 

I insert a wrench.

[CatCakey]

Congratulations, you've temporarily broken this vending machine!

But I just fixed it

I insert a piece of chocolate.

[Rosewind]

I tear the machine open and get the chocolate back.

 

I insert a cat.

[Davroth]

You get 4-6 cats back, but 66 days later.

 

I insert a vending machine.

[puzzlebeat]

You get a candy bar.

 

I insert twelve drummers drumming, eleven pippers pipping, ten lords-of-leaping, nine ladies dancing, eight maids-of-milking, seven swans a swimming, six geese of laying, FIVE (count em' FIVE) golden rings, four calling birds, three french hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree.

[Lyipheoryia]

You get a girlfriend.  Or boyfriend.  Whatever suits your fancy.

 

I insert a linear equation. 

[DreamySunday]

You get a linear answer

 

I enter a good movie.

[QueenCerali]

you get much discussion on just how good it is.
 

 

I insert the worst movie in the world

[puzzlebeat]

You get a post in spam stables with the phrase "Bump!"

 

I insert tree fiddy.

[DreamySunday]

You get a sapling.

 

I insert a cresh.

[CatCakey]

Did you spell that wrong?

 

You get a baby! CONGRATULATIONS!!!

 

I insert an empty crisp(or potato chips you Americans....) packet

[puzzlebeat]

You get an empty vending machine.

 

I insert the greatest song in the world.

[DreamySunday]

You get a wrong answer. Because what you think is the best song is probably wrong.

 

I insert Nerd debates.

[puzzlebeat]

(Dreamy... go watch 'the Pick of Destiny.')

 

You get a nerd gang war. (Aka the Pokémon go teams)

 

I insert two and a half men. Not the T.V. show, I literally cut a guy in half and stuffed him into the vending machine with two other people.

[DreamySunday]

i've seen it. You're answer was wrong.

 

You get five children

 

I insert Plastic

[CatCakey]

You get a drink in a plastic bottle!

 

I insert a mic.

[puzzlebeat]

You get a bunch of loud white noise.

 

I insert a quarter.

[QueenCerali]

you get a nickel back.

 

I insert a cadbury creme egg

[CatCakey]

You get an angry chocolate chicken

 

I insert some gamma radiation