starswirlthebearded

Hmmmm....... I wonder if I should bring in Filthy Rich too? He's really only active in one RP at this time.

I'll put him on the list in case. If you want to pull him let me know before the dice roll

Hey there! I know it's frustrating when you are waiting for your app to be evaluated, but please try and understand, we, the help staff, do have lives outside of Canterlot and other things to do. Heck, sometimes we log on to just RP after a long day. We like to help, we really do, it is why we were hired. But you have to understand, critiquing is not a quick thing. Sometimes it takes several hours for one app because we have to run things by SRPHS, and for proofreading from other RPH to make sure we didn't miss anything or that our tonality or intentions don't seem off.

As for responding to a bump immediately, she was probably pinged and taking 2 minutes to asking you to be patient was probably all she had time to do. Or she could have been on a mobile device and was unable to post a lengthy critique as I myself has been in the position many times before.

Believe me, she will get to it. But try to understand that we have other responsibilities. QuickLime even gave you several reasons why she hasn't been as active. All we ask is a bit of patience and understanding. I'm sure you'll be RPing in no time!

Hey! Sorry for the delay, and thanks muchly for changing the formatting so promptly!

Overall Melody Pond River Song seems to be a pretty good character. There are a few things I'd have you change before considering her for WoE.

First thing is pretty simple. The eye colour can't be changing. No pony in the show can do this, and as such our RP reflects this (Even in real life you can't change eye colour so easily). So just change the eye colour to a static one, and that will be fixed.

The CM story is overall good. It seems a bit short to me, but it gets the point across so it should be fine!

The next thing is, like the first issue, an easy fix...

Ever since she was born, River had been different from the rest of the ponies, and not in a good way either.

This line is wholly unnecessary. It depicts the mute nature of your character as something bad, which it clearly isn't as you put into your history to explain. Really no handicap is bad. ponies and people alike adapt to make the best of everything.

After that... When River moves to Trottingham with her sister, is her sister a Mare by this point? Please make that point clear. Thanks!

Next is something similar to the other quote...

Under Coral's tutelage, she managed to master several spells that would help her interact with others.

Really... that isn't what magic is for. Learning how to levitate a stick to write, isn't a spell to learn how to communicate, that is adapting a common unicorn ability (that I'm sure many unicorns do, including Twilight) to make writing anywhere simpler. Magic should never be used as a crutch for a handicap.

Other than that, your history seems a bit short. I'm sure you can expand it a bit to go into how she learned and became better at music (since that is her special talent). Heck, you can even make it so that she learned how to communicate her feelings and emotions through her music. There are many ways you can make this character unique and engaging by expanding their history without using magic as a crutch or falling into tropes associated with handicapped characters.

And your character summary is good too

I just want you to keep something in mind... Though magic is a powerful tool it isn't a cure all. Nor can most ponies use it like Twilight, she is unique in her ability to learn any sort of magic proficiently. Now while studying magic is fine, performing it is another matter entirely. Please keep that in mind with this character!

If you have any further questions please don't hesitate to ask!

BUMP! Locations are set.

Might consider breaking up areas into 3 Different RP threads to cut down on confusion, but that might make it more confusing to jump between threads.

Okay, I can finally say Miss Jubilee will also be in attendance.

Well that's certainly going to be an interesting addition

Novel could certainly have some adventures to write about at an event like this. Provided sign-up is still open, consider him in attendance.

It will remain open, but once the mystery gets underway any new participant in the party will have no way to know what is going on unless they talk to someone in the party.

Glad to have you on board. I'm going to start on locations this week since I've been busy.

I'll probably launch the main thread next week.

Hey there! Before I review this app, I would like to kindly ask that you fix the formatting. The only things that should be bolded are the titles of each section of the application.

So it should look like

Roleplay Type: WoE

Thanks!

Right, my revision is ready.

I'll let Rosie know to get her Rejection Stamp out and inked

I have my mystery masquerade rp starting up in a few weeks. I need to discuss with you and Dio anyway about crystal palace locations.

The ooc is already up. Feel free to join if you so choose.

I was wondering when I'd be seeing you Mr Sleuth! Thanks for joining us.

And that folks puts me over my minimum limit for doing a dice roll for a culprit! HUZZAH!

Alright! This looks good to me! Great work! I'm going to present this to SRPHS. Please be patient while they review it. If any further changes need to be made either myself or a SRPHS will reply here!

Great work Novel!

Sounds fun.

I'll bring a few guests. Alexandrite Tilt is a given. How about I bring a couple others too though... perhaps Crystal Snowflake and Lyra.

Aw.... no Rarity? (No really I could see Rarity go all out on a dress and mask)... Though maybe Lyra could have a dress and mask from Rarity's Boutique.

Even though it might be a little out of his means, Sparkle Fire will be attending, this looks like it's going to be fun, especially since Sparkle Isn't terribly well versed in ettiquette and enjoys a good mystery:3

I guess he could have won the tickets as a prize or something

There are no tickets xD. The party is basically an Open RSVP only event.

That's kind of the point, though. I don't see Honeydew as a fancy masquerade-type. So, she'd naturally assume that a costume party means costume and bring something Nightmare Night-esque. She's already a big oddball (with her tendency to consider everything suspicious and spout off conspiracy theories).

If it would derail too much, though, I can manage.

Honestly if it is what your character would do, then I'm fine with it. But keep in mind that it isn't billed as a "costume party" but rather a Masquerade party, which is rather different Masquerade parties tend to be more formal. So everyone will be dressed up in more ornate formal costumes with a certain type of mask.

This sounds REALLY interesting. I would definitely like to sign Honeydew up. I think I can manage to have plausible reasons for her to be there. A mystery party is probably a perfect situation for her to come up with conspiracy theories and whatnot. *LOL*

Question, though... Does the costume need to be a proper masquerade-esque costume or can Honeydew come decked out in a Nightmare Night-esque costume? (It would probably be ridiculous along the lines of looking like a giant bat or perhaps she would be dressed up like a Pumpkin with a Jack-o-Lantern mask or something).

I'd stay away from Nightmare Night themed outfits since this has nothing to do with Nightmare Night, and since the Crystal Empire predated NMM, they wouldn't even have cause to celebrate it or know about it. So if you dress up as a pumpkin you'll just look.... odd... to any and all Crystal Ponies.

And Hoity Toity would probably mock you too.... Just sayin'.

Hey there Novel!

This is a fine writer character. However as interesting as this character is in concept it needs some polish for World of Equestria.

Really there is only one issue with this app... it is short in the CM story and in the history. The cutie mark story especially should be a bit longer and detailed. It is the most important moment in your pony's life. Please write it so that it reflects that by adding vivid detail and emotion into the story. What sort of story was it? How did he write it? How did he feel when writing it? I'm sure you can think of a way of making it unique and interesting!

The history, really it comes down to that not seeming like a history rather than a character overview. The section should read like a minibiography. How did he grow up, what did he do with his friends, how did he hone his writing skills, how did he get his current job... These are just some questions that should be answered in your history. The more you write the better we can know your character!

If you have any questions please don't hesitate to ask!

Wow talk about a 180! Fantastic work ivi! The history is short, but it works and your character summary is sufficiently detailed for people to get to know your character! I think this will be a fine addition to WoE!

I'm going to present this to SRPHS. If anything is amiss either myself or a SRPHS will reply here!

Locations*:

1. Main Hall [AKA Ballroom]

2. Corridors**

3. Master Bedroom

4. Guest Bedroom

5. The Foyer

6. Lazuli Lounge

7. Throne Room

8. Rotunda

9. Outdoor Track and Field Arena (AKA Sporting Complex)

10. Kitchen/Dining area

11. Boardroom

12. Library

13. Study

14. Conservatory

15. Smithy (AKA Armoury, mainly for jousting)

*Ponies whom are in the same areas can interact with each other except in the case of #2

**Due to how many corridors there likely are, ponies cannot interact with each other in the Corridors unless one of the two following conditions are met: 1) They are traveling in group (and are thus already interacting) or 2) there is a confirming OOC within the post that states that both RPers are OK with interacting in that area.

Guests:

1. Honeydew

2. Lilac Briolette

3. Hoity Toity

4. Merlot

5. Ice Storm

6. Heart Healer

7. Sparkle Fire

8. Regal Steel

9. Foghorn

10. Aureate Compass

11. Alexandrite Tilt

12. Crystal Snowflake (?)

13. Lyra (?)

14. Cashmere

15. Harrington Sleuth

16. Bright Calcite

17. Hocus Pocus

18. Fleur de Lis

19. Novel

20. Cherry Jubilee

21. Filthy Rich

22. Oil Wells

23. Talkie Buckman

24. Stormsong

25. Sage Leaf

26. Sterling Silver

27. Martini Paradise

It looks like I'll be doing a dice roll for the culprit. Just so everyone knows it will be completely random. Likely after the item is found the search for the culprit will begin after that. Hopefully we'll get even more ponies. I'll announce when sign-ups are closed and do the dice roll then!

Greetings one and all! And welcome to Tigrus Gemshoe's Mystery Masquerade Party!

So here are the basics!

Location: Crystal Palace (Permission given by Dio and Hurricane)

Premise: A masquerade party in which a mystery is given. One main clue will be given and other clues/hints will be given as needed. (but hopefully they won't be)

The scenario will be given in thread. And there will be two separate threads for this RP. The first will be the actual party area. Where in the main clue will be given and a general party atmosphere will be maintained. Naturally since it is a mystery party and all guests can mingle, that includes about the mystery. But it will be up to your characters to decide if they'll reveal anything they find or not.

The other thread will be the adventure thread, outside of the main ballroom. To make it less confusing each post will need to be prefaced with the location they are in, that way you know who you can or cannot interact with. Possible locations will be discussed and listed here (likely with the aid of Games Ponies play and with the input of Dio and Hurricane for additional locations that might be in the Crystal Palace)

Rules: Open to all! Crystal pony or not! Please list your guests in this thread with a maximum of 3 per Role player.

All characters must be in a costume or at the very least a mask. No pony will know who any other pony is, which is part of the fun. Identity is not to be revealed during the party while there is a mystery.

If there is enough response for this, I may choose a RPer to play the "culprit" by dice roll by numbering all guests (which is why identity secrecy is necessary ). Otherwise I'll cook up an NPC to take that mantle.

Second post will be reserved for any additional relevant info, including guests and locations (and possibly teams if there are really THAT many ponies interested in this.

UPDATE! Thread is live!

The second thread will follow. This thread is the main hall, where the party will take place. The second will launch after the mystery starts.

All guests, please remember masquerade attire HAS to cover the CM and a mask MUST be worn.

Sure! Take your time. And thank you for your understanding.

I look forward to what you'll come up with!

Hey there ivi! Sorry for the delay.

Alright so let's get right down to it... I have to say... I really like the overall personality of this character and it does feel like a dragon. However, that is not all it takes to get into WoE.

I'll spare you the extensive details but after extensive discussions with my RPH colleagues these are the issues that were raised.

First is the history is overall very unWoE, and likewise very unFiM. It is very angsty being based on being abandoned and creating a "the world is against me" type of character. This is something we strive to avoid in characters, including dragons. Also ponies wouldn't turn away a baby dragon, just look at Spike. Though hoarding and possibly stealing does seem to be a trait that a dragon would have, that shouldn't be his only defining trait from his history along with revenge.

The character summary is likewise rather unWoE. From what we have seen, dragons are only solitary in their adulthood. They have friends, gangs, meetings, outings. Your dragon acts more like an adult dragon than a teenager. Also, completely avoiding ponies other than to steal from them really doesn't work well for our game which is largely Slice of Life oriented.

It isn't all bad though, the positive traits you put in really reflect well on your character! If you shift away from the angsty and keep in mind that we have a slice of life Role Play and design your character to mesh better with that, I see no reason why this dragon can't be accepted.

To be clear, there are no rules against being a jerk or even a thief (within reason of course), but they should be able to function within WoE well between characters. And I can't see this character being able to do that.

If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask!

Hey there OakSplitter!

You have an interesting character here! It's a bit short, but nothing is missing, so I see no issues!

Fantastic work!

Please be patient while a SRPHS reviews this app. If there are any issues either myself or the SRPHS will let you know!

Hey Stormchaser! I know the first character is a difficult one, but QuickLime is merely trying to teach you about how our game works and the rules that World of Equestria entails. World of Equestria is a premium roleplay environment designed to mimic what we see in FiM. Just as every character is unique and special in FiM, the same can be said of WoE.

All of her criticism is directed at your character, not you. This is never about you, even if this is a ponysona. If you are flexible and open minded I'm sure she can help you create a great character for WoE. She is probably one of the best character designers on all of Canterlot. QuickLime has well over 30+ original characters that are all unique!

That doesn't mean that this is a bad character mind you, just that it isn't right for World of Equestria as it is now. Your cutie mark story for instance shouldn't be something that you picked up out of the show. The cutie mark story you are using wasn't written by you, but rather M.A. Larson. Your cutie mark story for your character should be something personal and completely original for your character.

Please follow QuickLime's instructions to the best of your ability and I'm sure this application will turn out well. And please remember to keep all correspondence for this application within the application itself!

Thank you for your understanding, and good luck!

PS: I would really reconsider her suggestion of FFA, so you can gain valuable roleplaying experience in an open and flexible environment. It would allow you to play this character with no changes.

I've seen many musicals. Only a few Operas. I think the two that I saw were the Marriage of Figaro and La Boheme. Loved both of them though.