Imagination

Good evening boys and girls! It's that time again for another lovely story! Magi style! Tuck yourselves in and smile big, because this is quite the tale! Now, my friend (Whom I shall refer to from now on as Billy) and I liked to have some good old fashioned hikes! At night! Like, really really late! There are many adventures that stemmed from our hikes! Like exploring long pipes underground, or wearing shorts and t shirts in the middle of February at the top of a mountain, and still feeling pleasantly toasty because of a solar flare! Or even running into a group of ruffians and showing them what for! But adventures are not all fun and games kiddies. It should be left to professionals, like Billy and I! For in the darkest corners of the world lie ferocious beasts that only the strong may face! One evening, Billy and I were on one of our hikes in the mountains! It was around 2AM. We decided to stop when we heard some rustling in the bushes by us! Now Billy and I always went on hikes prepared children. And when I say prepared, I mean armed with .22 tacticals. We thought our little rifles could handle whatever rodent must be making this noise and coming toward us. So we took aim and turned on our tac lights. What stared back into this illumination was the most brilliant set of golden eyes I had ever seen! It wasn't long before we realized we were staring death in the face, in the form of a mountain lion not 15 feet away! But we didn't panic children! Well, we did, but neither of us will admit it. For those of you not familiar with bullety things, a .22 against a mountain lion is about as effective as hitting an airplane with a rock. It won't do much unless you hit it in just the right spot! It was a Mexican Standoff! Would we shoot, or would it pounce? It felt like forever, though realistically it was about three minutes. The lion, overcome by our manliness and bravado, turned around and left. We had won the stare down with one if the mountain's most ferocious killers! And that's when we found out that the 32 McDoubles in Billy's fridge we bought the other day had gone bad. Good night Canterlot!

Ten Hut, Canterlot! It's me, Magi, coming to you live via cell phone! Since Im away for training for the next several days, I figure now would be a good time to show off my well sought-out talent in the military: I am a Master MRE chef! I know, it was expected, but Im just so good at food. First, a lingo lesson! For you civilian-types, MRE stands for Meal Ready to Eat, which typically consists of immitation meat, a bread or cookie, some kind of snack, and accessories like gum, tissues, and coffee packs. Military food! I can make almost any MRE taste pretty darn well! But if I can combine multiple MREs, I can make a masterpiece, like this! The Commandant's Special! What you need: 1 Spicy Vegetable pasta MRE 1 Chicken MRE (any will do so long as its chicken) 1 Fruit and Nut mix pack 1 Mexican Rice MRE 1 Wheat Snack Bread 1 MRE heater First, you open the Mexican rice! Then you open the chicken meal and cut it up into smaller bits. Do not mix it with the rice! Not yet! Next you need to do some separating. The spicy vege pasta meal will have vegetable bits in it. You need some. In that same MRE will be chile sauce. You need that too. Open up the fruit and nut mix and pick the fruit out. Either eat the scraps of these yourself or give them to someone else. Now! You need to mix the chicken, the veggies and the nuts with the chile sauce an mix it all good! Then you add this mixture to the Mexican rice, and mix once more! Use the MRE heater to hear it all up, and serve it with a piece of wheat snack bread to wipe up the straggling bit that's left when you're done! Analysis: If you are lucky enough the get all the components for this, by all means treat yourself! The chile sauce gives it some great kick, the nuts for crunch, and the rice is plenty filling. The rest is just delicious. So delicious, in fact, that you might forget the government bought this food from the lowest bidder! Enjoy!

Good evening all! It's me! Imagination! Come on now, ladies, I'm in the middle of something. Now today we have a special story. Maybe for kindof a sad reason, so brace yourselves. This is going to be a memorial story, because we had to put my dog down today. Though I'm the sort of person that doesn't dwell on a death and rather celebrate a life. So I thought tonight would be a good night to share one of my funnier experiences with my best-friend-almost-brother Bruschi. I'll miss you, Poopie. So one fine morning I was asleep on my lovely queen sized bed, about 10AM on a Saturday. I was dreaming the morning away and having a splendid time. But there was one creature that would not be content with my lovely dreaming! Oh no, children! This was a beast unlike any had seen before! Massive paws, thick fur, and taller than a man standing straight! This massive hound was out for blood! Well, no, he wasn't. He just wanted Magi to get his lazy butt outta bed! How did he do it? I'll tell you! He almost murdered me, kids! That's right! You heard it here! First, he climbed up onto the bed. Not jumped, climbed, because he was a big burly thing and could do that! Walking on over to me, he could've carried out the old token custom of licking his master's face to awaken him. But no he had something much more sinister in mid. He SAT ON MY FACE. Allow me to repeat. SAT. ON. MY. FACE. The greatest how-do-you-do at 10AM is being smothered by dog butt, let me tell you! Luckily this woke me right up and he eventually saw fit to end my torture and run off. Yes. My dog almost killed me. But this was followed by several years of unhindered good times, friendship, and watching Criminal Minds. But even in death my dog got the last laugh, Children. After returning home, having said my final goodbyes, I retreated to the family den to be alone. And there in the corner, it lay. His final laugh. His parting gift. The concluding hurrah: He pooped on the carpet. Goodnight, Canterlot!

AND crab and scallop! And because it seemed like an awesome idea at the time. And we had more shrimp than we did lobster, so the lobster being part of the stuffing worked out in the end. EDIT also I foun out these big shrimps are called Tiger Shrimp. Huge.

Hello Canterlot, it's me again. The one and only Magi. Ladies, please. Now, before we begin, I'm going to go right ahead and let you know that the following meal is 100% natural. "But Magi! Surely something organic and natural cant be THAT bad for me!" Normally I would just smack myself and wonder what I was thinking. But this is not the case. My face shall remain unsmacked, and your heart may not rest easy. Behold, the Adult Disfigured Samurai Shrimp! Antiheroes in a caripise! Crustatian Energy! So I have an uncle that does his own fishing. Catches all kinds of stuff! During one visit, we made these bad larries. First, we took some jumbo shrimp. When I say jumbo, I mean almost as thick as my wrist. No idea where he found them but they have to be radioactive to be this massive. Worry not, I can just read in the dark now. Anyway we cooked these monsters up and cut their heads off. Pure brutality. But my uncle also had on him live lobster, crab, and scallops. Oh yes. Yes indeedy. We cooked and mashed up some lobster, some crab, and some scallops. It was a fine fishy mess, but we weren't done. We stuffed the shrimp with this mess! Then we soaked them in butter, breaded the stuffing top, and baked them for a bit. What burst forth from the oven was the most dangerous aquatic warrior I had ever laid my eyes on. After they cooled, we fetched more butter, and demolished these creatures with our mouths. Analysis: If you want to know what Aquaman crying tastes like, then this is the meal for you. May be on the expensive side if you don't catch it on your own like my uncle did... But let me inform you that it is worth every coin. You get the joy of lobster and crab in the soft, chewy carcas of another dead shellfish! Add some melted butter, an you'll swear this has to be illegal. Take your taste buds on an odyssey, and feast on some ADSSs today! You'll be glad you did.

Hello all! I'm Imagination, also known as Magi, among other not-so-polite things! I tell the BEST bedtime stories! Hands down! And today, I will share one with you, regaling of my fantastic adventures of life and other stuff! Story #1: I Do Solemnly Pledge! Once upon a time, ol' Magi had found himself at college! Now, this wasn't just any college, fillies and colts! It was a college full of fun activities, silly outfits, fun food, and no such thing as an indoor voice! I'm of course speaking of military school! We had wonderful times there, but sometimes... SOMETIMES, our living spaces were under scrutiny. We called these charming events, INSPECTIONS! Woo! I was the best at inspections kids. Never failed! Not once! But my instructors didn't like this very much at all! No they did not! Not because I was clean and timely, but because I was still... Well, an idiot. But don't worry children! I haven't changed much. Anywho! One fine morning my roommates and I were preparing for the latest inspection, when one of our instructors came into our room and demanded that the floor be SPOTLESS! Who was I to argue? It seemed sensible! But everyone else was hogging the mops and the inspection was in 10 minutes! Time was of the essence! The bootsteps of doom were looming closer and closer! But then, Magi had the most planest of clevers. Digging through the room, I found a few cans of pledge! We decided to spray this lovely substance upon the tile floor and wipe it down! It was so clean, and smelled so nice, I nearly wept! And what's more, it had a charming side-effect! The floor was now a slick as ice! ICE! My roommate and I had a heck of a time balancing ourselves on this surface, and we just knew that our instructors wouldn't like this at all. Oh no, it seemed our goose was cooked! But there was no time to fix it! They were coming! We got into our inspection positions and managed to balance ourselves. We awaited our fate. One instructor came to our room. He took one step on the glistening floor, and slipped! He caught himself on the doorframe and saved himself, pulling himself up and storming off without a word. About fifteen minutes later, he returned! With a whole cadre of angry instructors! However, he failed to tell them about the room! When they stormed on it, there was a pile of angry uniforms at our door, and it was all we could do to not laugh. It wasn't long before the Captain arrived. This man skated along the slick surface like a tundran gazelle. So graceful! He stopped before me and asked if I pledged the floor, I answered in the affirmative! Expecting a lecture, he congratulated me and skated away, leaving the room. And that was how we found out our Platoon Sergeant's laugh sounded like a donkey. Good night everyone!

I could certainly make Death Cake a thing! While most of my cook book will be grillable stuff, I'll be delving into sweets once in awhile. Keep an eye out!

Good day, all! SO My first entry, and it's certainly gonna be a goodin. Ended up skipping the story. Good things are worth waiting for! Magi will tuck you all in safe and sound next Wednesday, but for now, I'm here to destroy your cardiac system. THE Y.M.B.T. BURGER (otherwise known as the 'Y'all Must Be Trippin' Burger. Explanation to follow!) SO. I went to Wendy's with a couple friends of mine. At, like, midnight. We all had the brilliant idea of 'hey, lets order 100 chicken nuggets and hope they don't spit in it!'. Seemed like an awesome idea! And it never stopped being an awesome idea. After Having to repeat ourselves to the drive-thru, as soon as we arrived at the window the woman who took our money immediately shouted, hands on her hips: 'Y'all must be trippin'! You must loooove chicken nuggets!' Yes Ma'am. Yes we do. So we paid our $30 and left. I, however was not satisfied with chicken nuggets. I was hungry. My friends said 'no don't make a mess' but I was like 'no, messes are happening'. So I shredded these nuggets and added some buffalo sauce to this mess of dead fowl. So now I had basically a buffalo chicken dip made of chicken nuggets. While I was busy working my art, my friends had already finished their nuggets and were already playing Donkey Kong Country. I decided to make a patty out of this delicious mess, and fry it. Now I had a semi-solid fried patty of shredded buffalo chicken. Already my friends commented on the absurdity of my actions, but I was not done. Justice is never done. I, for some reason, could not stop thinking about my old favorite. The burger that made me swear off Burger King for years because they got rid of it. The Loaded Steakhouse Burger. Mashed taters, fried onions, A1 steak sauce, cheese, and a meat patty all in a nice messy bun. My purpose had been fulfilled. So now I had the idea to mix these devious devices. Yes, I made a double burger with one Bubba's burger patty (best ones to use ever in my glorious and irrefutable opinion). While my brother grilled the burger and used lemon pepper seasoning to make it 20% cooler, I got to work on mashed taters. Not a lot, but enough to make a decent bowl for a single person. Simultaneously, we fried some onion slices. Once the burger was done, I reheated my buffalo patty and built my burger. Lets recap: Bubba's seasoned burger patty of deliciousness Wendy's shredded buffalo nugget chicken patty Mashed potatoes (with a little Velveeta for taste) Fried onions Buns Delicious. ANALYSIS: It's hard to describe just how much I enjoyed this sandwich. It's... It's like a heart attack in the bun alone. Grown men have cried over morsels this juicy and meaty, spicy and refined. Just this basic death burger was enough to e the envy of my friends, who have witnessed my power before. But then we all clocked out around 3AM. Remember children, good things come to those who wait. They could've had a Y.M.B.T., but nooooo. Anyway, there's the first. Of many. Certainly not my most elaborate dehealthifyer, but it was wonderful nonetheless. I feel I could've still added another sauce to it. But, you know what they say about hindsight.

Good day! Yes, I've made yet another blog! But this one isn't for sharing random thoughts or notes or whatever. No, I'm more organized than that. Bi-product of being just too handsome, you see. I'm going to dazzle you with foods so obnoxiously unhealthy that you'll swear I must weigh 400 pounds (180, thanks for asking!) and be watering at the mouth all the while! See, I am the lone holder of the Nega Baked Bad. That makes me a very powerful force here on Canterlot. I will share that power with YOU, the average or not-so-average reader. Every Saturday I will post a new experiment here in this blog. I will describe what was in it, what I did with it, and go into excruciating detail about how delicious it was. NEXT I love telling stories, and interesting things happen to me quite often. So that I don't end up bursting at the seams with this very no-doubt interesting, need-to-know knowledge of mine, I'll tell you all a nice story every Wednesday. It could be a story from my past, present, or completely made up! Maybe not the last one, but that goes without noting, I'm sure. My credibility is absolute! So, this has been your warning, Canterlot. The power of the Nega Baked Bad sits before you! Or at least it will every Wednesday and Saturday.

Ruby certainly was distracted! He was so awe-struck by being near the Princess that she completely forget what she was doing there! The amount of happy plastered on her face was... It was almost like she were in a trance! Something about that goddess monarch just made her pleased as punch to be alive. But, then the unexpected! The Princess totally went full muzzle-on-muzzle with Applebloom's totally dreamy brother (seriously, like half the class has a crush on him. Maybe. She doesn't know for sure, but she bets.)! It was jaw-dropping. Literally. Pinchy stood agape, having witness the most glorious thing ever. When Applejack spoke to her, trying to get her attention, she blinked herself back to reality. "A-buh?" Abuh indeed, Pinchy. But then she realized what was going on and felt a start. "Oh no! I'm sorry, Miss Applejack, I got super distracted! I didn't mean to hold up the line! I'll just go wait with my momma!" She told the mare happily before going to do just that. Course, as soon as she got there, she just stood herself up, balancing her front hooves on her mother so she could whisper up into her ear. "Did you see that?!"

Pinchy had to say hi to the Princess?! Well, if mommy commands it, so it shall be! Besides, how hard could saying hello to the most powerful alicorn monarch in the known world be? Very, apparently. So far, she tried at least three times to get the words 'hi princess' out of her muzzle, but she had to stop herself short. Why? Because her mind knew her mouth was just going to spout nervous noises like 'bahp' ' eeep' and 'haaahm'. As adorable as a bashful filly can be, there's no worse feeling than cowering into silence when all you want to do is say hello to somepony who you know is probably going to be genuinely pleased to be greeted. Oh course, through all this worrying, she actually forgot that, while it was a nice thing to do, it was something she was tol to do! Quickly, she looked up at the towering mare, who currently had her back to the filly, and she just gave a quick wave and spouted "Hi Princess!!" before going back to her worrying about how she was going to greet her god-monarch. Good thing she got what her mother wanted out of the way before focusing on her own task at hoof... Oh, and it was her turn to buy apples next! Shoot, how much money did she bring? How much did her mother need? She couldn't remember... Oh well, she'd just have to wing it.

Pinchy was right behind the Princess! She had been the whole time! She had been so in awe the whole time that she didn't even really notice what had happened before. Somepony said something and somepony else thought that wasn't a good thing to say? Or was everypony just talking? She didn't know. Nor did she care! I mean, come on, the PRINCESS was standing in front of her! Hopefully she didn't take a step back and step on the filly while she wasn't paying attention... But, threat of being accidently crushed aside- Oh, wait. There it was. Her ears perked when she heard a very familiar voice call out. The kind of voice and foal could hear even in the most chaotic of places. The voice of her mother! Looking back, she saw Berry waving. Pinchy waved back so hard it was almost like her leg could fall off, grinning ear to ear. "HI MOMMY!" she shouted, wanting to project her voice back so she could be heard. "I CAME HERE BECAUSE I REMEMBER YOU SAYING YOU NEEDED SOME APPLES BUT NOW YOU'RE HERE TOO!" I was gonna be a surprise, and she didn't really expect her mother to do that shopping today... But, maybe this works out for the better? She didn't know there was a kissy thingy though. She only found out about that not long after she got there. Blegh. Maybe she could get a hug instead? Hugs weren't icky. Didn't she do a report on this stuff in school? Not kissy stuff, but why kissy stuff was icky? Course, now she knew cooties didn't really exist... Didn't make kissy stuff less gross though. Who would do that?

Ruby Pinch had written a princess before... but never a foreign princess! What could she write about...? She had never been to the Crystal Empire, or even met a Crystal Pony. They must be neat! She tore apart her house (without cleaning it up cuz she was so excited and junk) but she was only able to find one piece of paper that didn't have something written or scribbled on it. She'd have to make this count. "DeeDear Princess Cadence, Hi! My name is Ruby Pinch, but my frends call me Pinchy! Whats is it like being a Princess of TWO countries?! Is your palace really made of crystls?! Aneyway, I'm a filly from Ponyville! It's a super swell place, but I think you know that. Your from Equestria, right? I get confuzed sumtimes sometimes." So far so good Pinchy. You're nailing this. "I have so many queschtions!!! But I really just want to say hi, and that I think you're smart and pretty and silly! Were you scared when Prince Armor threw you? That sounded like so much fun! I wish a Prince would throw me at stuff." Pinchy, this isn't the time to be daydreaming about princes, this is serious! "Right!" "I wanted to right write you to ask you a bunch of questions, which I already did, but I really wanna know what the Crystle Crystal Empire is like! It's only a mater of time before Miss Cheerilee gives us a report on far away places and stuff, and I wana have an insider's opinion! Hope to hear bake back from you soon, and Ill try to say hi if I see you ever in Ponyville! Love, Pinchy" She made sure to draw little hearts all over it too. Just to make it look pretty. Then she went ahead and stuck that sucker in an envelope and sent it straight to the Crystal Palace! ... Then sat in front of her mailbox as if she were expecting a reply. After about 10 minutes her mother lured her back inside.

Well, there's always my boot camp thread if you're interested in using him as an instructor! http://www.canterlot...ake-2-sign-ups/ Otherwise, I have Reveille (My DI Pony) and Trailblazer (Who's technically retired, but he was hardcore Army in his day). That's all I got to offer at the moment. As for making a whole new RP for military personnel, there was the Army ball (which I unfortunately did NOT participate in). Perhaps there could be meetups, competitions, game-nights, on-leave hanging out, whatever we like! The possibilities are endless! ... If command says so.

A very very tasty, greasy, meat-and-cheese-filled nightmare